Leaving and Coming Home: Part 2

If you would have told me 6 months ago that I would be traveling to Northern Ireland twice in one year, I would have thought you were crazy. But life has a funny way of surprising you and rewarding you when you least expect it. I feel incredibly blessed with the opportunities Brad and I have been given. 2013 is going to have a hard time topping the many adventures and experiences that 2012 has presented!

While our first trip was incredible and memorable, the second trip will forever hold a special place in my heart. We got to be a part of the initial stages of the Ulster Project Graduate Program. And it opened my eyes to the extreme beauty and darkness that exists within mankind.

Here are some highlights from the trip:

Day 1 – Saturday October 27, 2012
Brad and I were transported to the airport by ever so lovely and wonderful Colleen & McKay Burdette! After a pit-stop at Steak ‘N Shake, we were on our way to Cincinnati, where we had to check an extra bag full of candy and treats for our friends! Things were fairly uneventful, other than the fact that we were leaving New York City as Hurricane Sandy was coming in (we missed her by about a day). The overnight flight to Dublin seemed long and tiresome and I sat next to what I will refer to as the “Seat Nazi.” She was very territorial and I was terrified to get up to use the toilet. But 2 movies, 2 meals and a half a book later, I survived and we landed in Dublin.

Day 2 – Sunday October 28, 2012
We got off the plane and made it through customs (where Brad was accidentally granted a 90 day visa!) and found James and Laura anxious awaiting our arrival! After a loud and joyous reunion, we headed to Enniskillen with some stops to take pictures along the way. Laura skipped church and we all had breakfast together at Wetherspoons. We went on to James’ house to rest and recover from the flight. James had to work at the Crowe’s at 6, so we went with him and met up with Lindsey and Stephen. Brad, Laura and I walked to McDonalds to see some of the previous years’ teens. We walked back to the Crowe’s and helped James close up for the night.

Day 3 – Monday October 29, 2012
This day was full of fun! We met up with last year’s teens at the youth center and celebrated Josh’s birthday - complete with pin the tail on the donkey, cake, candles, air hockey, laughter, and American sweets! Then we all headed across the street to Maude’s for some good food and more laughter. We finished strong at Costa Coffee in the mall and saw even more teens! It was a great day of reliving old memories and creating new ones. We said goodbye to the teens and headed to Wetherspoons for a Quiz, only to discover that it was super lame. But it was still a good day overall!

Day 4 – Tuesday October 30, 2012
Last day in Enniskillen L After packing up the car, we headed to the Enniskillen Castle for a tour. Then I had a coffee date with Colin & Lynne and we had a great time catching up and shedding light on some of the things that happened in the past. It was a very humbling and redeeming conversation and it set the tone for a great ride to Belfast, picking up Les Sage in Omagh on the way. We spent the hour and a half talking about exciting things that are happening in our projects and new ideas for Time of Discovery. It’s a beautiful thing when the “babies” and the “dinosaurs” can come together with their ideas and perspectives. After getting checked into the apartment in Belfast, we met up with more of the Americans at the Crown Pub for a few pints and warm welcomes.

Day 5 – Wednesday October 31, 2012
A Halloween that will not soon be forgotten. We spent the morning at Belfast City Hall with the Lord Mayor, who is a former Ulster Project teen. He talked about how he is using his leadership position to bring the two sides together – a true message of hope for the Ulster Project. Then we went to Stormont to tour the parliament building and meet with different sides of the local government. We visited the peace walls and saw messages of hope and reconciliation and change and we wrote messages of our own. We visited a chapel and prayed to the Prince of Peace to unite us when differences divide. We ended the evening with a group dinner at Made in Belfast, where the food was great and the company was even better! And we all learned a lesson in sharing J

Day 6 – Thursday November 1, 2012
The day started off with the tragic news of a man who was killed on the M1 on his way to work. David Black, a prison officer, was attacked a mere 15 miles from where we were in Belfast. This act of violence was an attempt to stir up the Troubles that exist just beneath the surface. Our group spent the day at YouthLink, an inter-church organization that provides support and training for youth workers and community relations experiences for young people. Our conversations focused on the hopes, fears, purpose and direction of the Ulster Project as we move forward. The death of David Black definitely gave us all a bit of perspective and reminded us that our work with the project is so relevant. I think we were all a little more motivated to continue to break down the barriers and walls in people’s minds. The time flew by and we were all a little sad to see it end. We all reconvened for dinner at the Crown Pub (excellent food shared with friends!) and some of us stuck around afterwards to continue the discussions from earlier.

Brad, James, Laura and I had a bit of a late night, as we met up with Ruairy and another one of James’ friends for some pints and laughs. Well worth the few hours of sleep we got that night!

Day 7 – Friday November 2, 2012
If I had to come up with one word for this day, it would be soggy. A heavy rain poured over us as we toured the Titanic Quarter, but that didn't stop us from having a good time! First, we saw the set where Game of Thrones was filmed. Although I've never seen it, I guess it’s a pretty big deal. Next, we toured the Titanic Drawing Room that is currently not open to the public. This is the room where the plans for the Titanic were written and drawn up. Pretty cool stuff! We also got to see a development model of the future plans for Belfast. Once inside Titanic Belfast, we had tea and coffee to warm up before our self-guided tour through the exhibit began. We got to see the Titanic staircase and all sorts of neat Titanic artifacts and replications. A very cool experience. Next time you’re in Belfast, you should definitely go! We had lunch at The Dock Café, which is best described as “a pop-up coffee shop, art venue and information point, right in the heart of the Titanic Quarter beside SS Nomadic. It’s a space for community, chat, chilling-out, meeting-up…Life in the Titanic Quarter.” They call themselves an Honesty Box Café, in which there is no charge for the food but you can make a donation for what you think it’s worth. Such a neat concept and it’s thriving! Be sure to check them out: http:www.thedockchurch.org

The rest of the afternoon was spent shopping and getting ready for the evening.

Friday night we were joined by Rev. Kerry Waterstone, who founded the Ulster Project in 1975. It was such an incredible experience to witness how things have come full circle since then. He gave a very inspiring speech about why he started the project and how it was still needed today. I feel so honored to be a small part of such a powerful and life-changing program.

We said our goodbyes to the Graduate Program people and headed out for a fun night in Belfast.

Day 8 – Saturday November 3, 2012
We packed up all of our things and had a delicious lunch at Nandos. We did some last-minute shopping before heading out of the city. We had a little bit of an adventure looking for an Asda on our way to Dublin, only to find that the one on the map was not even open yet! We made it to Stephen’s house just in time to catch the train into the City Centre. We met up with Laura’s friends and went on a scary/sexy tour of the leprechaun museum – that was definitely an interesting experience! We had a great night out in Dublin drinking and impressing each other with magic and card tricks. End day 8.

Day 9 – Sunday November 4, 2012
This was a lazy day, but it is just what we needed. The boys didn’t get out of bed until 1:00! We had a nice brunch and then did some shopping and watched Skyfall. We had Thai food back at the house then Brad and I packed up our stuff to leave in the morning L

Day 10 – Monday November 5, 2012
Our trip home was pretty uneventful. We stayed awake most of the flight and watched movies. Once we landed in New York, it was quite evident that our country had gone temporarily insane over the election. I finished reading The Book Thief  in the airport and bawled my eyes out in front of several thousand strangers. That was fun. My parents picked us up in Cincinnati and we ate at Skyline Chili on the way home. We were home by 9:30 and asleep by 10:00 and at work by 8:00 the next morning. To say we were exhausted would be an understatement, but it was well worth every second of it and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Final Reflections: Beauty and darkness. Darkness that exists with the taking of a man’s life as a result of the Troubles, the “peace walls” that still divide the city, and the animosity that is still present just below the surface in Northern Ireland. And in our own country - darkness in the hatred that has been spewed from both sides as a result of this election, and an unwillingness to come together and work things out. But still so much beauty – the beauty that comes from a diverse group of people who have found enough in common to love each other, the beauty of both sides coming to the table with creative imagination to dream up a better world, the beauty of redemption and forgiveness. I have seen a small fragment of the darkness, but I have also seen the brilliant light bursting forth. I have hope for the future. I believe another world is possible. And I believe that we are the ones that can make it happen if we continue to work together. 

Love & Peace,

Katie 

"Settling Down Without Settling"

I recently read an article in Relevant Magazine entitled "Settling Down Without Settling." It would be an understatement to say that this article spoke to my soul. I would plagiarize the whole thing here if I could. But I figured it would be best to paraphrase the key points and add in some of my own thoughts. So here it goes. This is where I have been lately - in a strange place between "young adult" and "grown up." And somehow I got lost in the transition, like I missed an exit or something. 

I have mentioned this in a previous blog post, but I feel like I have spent my whole life waiting. In high school I was always waiting for college. Once I reached the milestone of graduation and finally made it to college, I found myself waiting there too. I was waiting for my chance to change the world once I graduated. After college, I was waiting for find a job, get married, start a life.
Now my real life is here. The only thing is, it looks nothing like I thought that it would. Brad and I have been living in Madison for the past 2 years, and it seems like we have settled here - at least for the foreseeable future. Which means we won't be in the dozens of other places we'd like to be. We won't live every alternative life we've envisioned for ourselves. 

The word "settle" is terrifying to me. As the Relevant article said, "it often precedes those ugly words 'for less.' It carries with it that frightening connotation of compromise, like letting the person you love slip away while you marry someone else." And then they posed this question: Is it inevitable we settle like that?

We both went to a college where the phrase "World Changer" was drilled into us. For four years (five for Brad!) we were told to dream  big, that we could go anywhere, do anything, and be anyone. I remember one professor telling us that God would be disappointed in us if our dreams were too small. I think that is why the reality of our situation has hit me so hard. The truth is, we have limits. With the debt of our college degrees hanging over our heads, the big dreams and world changing lifestyle seem too far to reach. We have to pay the bills. In the pursuit of all these things, we have become ordinary. 

Our hearts ache with fresh memories of the townships in South Africa, the faces of orphans in Haiti, and the body of Christ that we feel so connected to which is spread around the world. We try to find community here. It comes in the form of weekly dinners with new friends that uplift our souls. Everyday we go off to our jobs and deal with the different stresses that each one brings. We make decisions about how to spend/save our money so one day we can feel like we are making it on our own. 

The following paragraph is a direct quote from the article, because it was too true for me to change in any way.

WHO DOESN’T FEEL SORT OF TRAPPED? WHO ISN’T ASKING, “IS THIS ALL THERE IS”?

"We look around at people who have been on this normal route for longer than we have, and it’s scary how many are disappointed. Many are married, many have homes and several have children. Many wish their jobs paid just a little more. Some struggle to stay afloat, needing two wage-earners in the home even when one spouse would love to stay home or volunteer more. Others feel lonely and wish they could move closer to a church, friends or family. Who doesn’t feel sort of trapped? Who isn’t asking, 'Is this all there is'?"

So we have given ourselves this challenge - make the ordinary into an adventure. We want to choose to live and notice amazing days, right in the here and now. And so while we are living with my parents, we also take weekend trips to visit friends and re-energize. We sit out by the fire in the evenings and try to spend more time talking to people than watching stuff on Netflix. We are embracing the Dave Ramsey way of life and turning the envelope method into a monthly challenge to do better with our finances. We are pouring ourselves into the Ulster Project because we believe in it. And at the end of October, we get to return to Northern Ireland because God is faithful!

In all this, we remember inspiring voices of people we’ve met in stricter circumstances who live out the same values of community, generosity and intentionality. I think of my friends in South Africa who settled into a township to care for the children of Linawo Children's home. Brad thinks of his missionary friends in Haiti who have dedicated themselves to providing love, hope, and a future to the people of La Gonave. They remind us that settling down doesn’t have to mean settling for less.

I will end with the closing statement from the article in Relevant. "We owe it to people in the hard places to not settle for a comfortable status quo here. We owe it to them—and to ourselves—to live intentionally, to live generously, to live an adventure in the everyday ordinary."

When I Look at the Stars

A lot of things in my life don't make sense right now. Of course, I can rationalize why these things are happening but I still have this uncertainty in the pit of my stomach. My main concern is this: I am almost 26 years old and I haven't figured out how to be an adult. There's a list of things in my head that adults should be able to do and I fall short on almost every one. I'm sure things will start to come together and it will all make sense someday, but for the moment I feel like I'm shooting in the dark.

Speaking of shooting in the dark, last night there was a meteor shower in my backyard. In fact, it was the Perseid Meteor Shower that occurs each year in late July and early August when our planet passes through the dusty remains of some comet or something. I don't know science. But I do know that between the hours of 3 and 4 am I watched over 15 shooting stars fly across the night sky. In the pre-dawn moments, I realized that I am a tiny tiny piece in a great big universe. My life is so small and seemingly insignificant compared to the cosmos. I find a sense of peace in knowing that - that even though I am a speck in the grand scheme of things, I am still loved and cared for. It reminds me of a song/poem by Bradley Hathaway:

Look up, look up, look up into the sky, love

You see that moon shining so high up above us?

It rolls around on account of a bunch of scientific stuff

I like to think it does just because He loves us. 

(I did not take the above photo. I just wanted to share its beauty.)

Basically what I'm trying to say is this: Each day is a blessing because I am alive and breathing and surrounded by people who love me, most of the time unconditionally. Even though my life is small in comparison, I play a significant role in the lives of others around me. It feels good to know that I am connected to something that is so much bigger than anything I could imagine. Even if it doesn't all make sense right now...  

Peace and an Unpeaceful Me

Ulster Project season is almost here. I can smell it in the air. I can feel it in my bones. In a little more than 24 hours a group of teens are going to step onto a plane for a journey that will change their lives. And each year that I participate, I too am changed. A little piece of me gets closer to the way things God intended. We all see a clearer picture of what the Kingdom of Heaven would look like here on earth. The Prince of Peace gives us a glimpse of what is spoken in Isaiah 2:4, "He will judge between the nations and will settle disputes for many peoples. They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore." 

I am amazed and humbled at how unqualified I am to teach other people about peace and reconciliation. If we want to see peace in the world, it has to start from within. You can ask Brad or others who are close to me - I am not always the most peaceful person. My patience is thin and my tongue quick to lash out. My soul is restless. In the past few days alone I have learned more than I ever thought I could about remaining peaceful in a time of unrest and turmoil. And let me tell you, it is much easier said than done.   

Peace is a lofty and noble goal, but it will never fully be achieved on this earth. I believe that people are innately good, but we have hardened over the years and some of us have lost touch with that soft side. We have forgotten how good it is to feel for people other than ourselves. And that is the opposite of peace: not violence or war, but the idea that we are all islands fighting to stand our own ground. It will not be until we remember that we are all an interconnected mass - one body - that peace can even be within our reach. Co-existence maybe. But Christ did not die so that His children could co-exist. After all, He is the Prince of Peace.  

Rest

We spent today cleaning out the garage and getting the rest of our things out of the house and into storage. It feels strange to be done with that place and even stranger still is the idea that we're not exactly sure what our next steps are. Transition is a difficult place to be in. But it is also very freeing.

In all of the sorting I came across some of my old journals. I always find it very enlightening (and amusing!) to look back on where I have been. One of the entries I read today stopped me in my tracks. How could something that I wrote 5 years ago still be so relevant in my life today? The topic was on rest and the Sabbath. We know the drill - we are supposed to work diligently for 6 days and rest on the 7th. But what happens when life is so fast-paced and so busy that we forget to rest? We are so involved and responsible for so many things that demand our time and our attention, even on the Sabbath. It would be irresponsible for us to rest. Right? The problem with this busy lifestyle is that it messes up the rhythm of life, and it takes away from one of the most beautiful gifts God has ever given us - rest. When God commands the Sabbath in Exodus 20, it is right after the Israelites left Egypt, where they were slaves. By establishing the Sabbath, God is telling his people, "You are not in Egypt anymore. Your value is not in how much you can do. Your value is in who you are. I command you one day of rest so you can remember you are free." This was an extremely difficult reminder for me tonight. And what comes next is even more difficult to swallow. It is a quote from Messy Spirituality that I wrote in my journal on June 5, 2007:

"We do know how to rest; we simply refuse to rest. Rest is a decision we make. Rest is choosing to do nothing when we have too much to do, slowing down when we feel pressure to go faster, stopping instead of starting. Rest is listening to our weariness and responding to our tiredness, not to what is making us tired. Rest is what happens when we say one simple word: No. Rest is the ultimate humiliation because in order to rest, we must admit we are not necessary, that the world can get along without us, that God's work does not depend on us. Once we understand how unnecessary we are, only then might we find the right reasons to say yes...."

If you need me tonight, I'll be resting.

Love & Marriage

Today marks the anniversary of our second year of marriage. I dedicate this post to my husband.

The past two years have been an incredible journey for us. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to share my life with. I have come up with a list of things I love about being married to you.

• Two years of fighting over the covers at night and waking up next to you each morning.
• All the time we have spent dreaming and planning together.
• Our ongoing discussion about which food has more uses: the potato or the tomato.
• Watching you cook.
• All of our friends in Seattle, Scranton, Pawnee, and all across the television world.
• All of our road trips to see our real friends in Indianapolis, Pennsylvania, Evansville, South Carolina, Bloomington, etc.
• Raising Tuna Charlie with you!
• Watching our niece grow up.
• Fortnight Fort Night.
• Law & Order SVU marathons.
• Our walks downtown.
• Our trip to Ireland and our many adventures there.
• Two crazy, stressful, incredible, and exhausting July's of Ulster Project - and one on the way!
• Watching you step up and grow as a leader.
• Dressing up as Shrek and Fiona.
• Whitewater rafting with you on our anniversary last year (and watching you save my parents when they both fell out into the rapids!!)

There are too many memories to list on this page, and hopefully many more to come. Happy anniversary, habibti!

Wednesday Inspiration

Stole this from a friend. Just a little inspiration to get you through Wednesday.