A lot of things in my life don't make sense right now. Of course, I can rationalize why these things are happening but I still have this uncertainty in the pit of my stomach. My main concern is this: I am almost 26 years old and I haven't figured out how to be an adult. There's a list of things in my head that adults should be able to do and I fall short on almost every one. I'm sure things will start to come together and it will all make sense someday, but for the moment I feel like I'm shooting in the dark.
Speaking of shooting in the dark, last night there was a meteor shower in my backyard. In fact, it was the Perseid Meteor Shower that occurs each year in late July and early August when our planet passes through the dusty remains of some comet or something. I don't know science. But I do know that between the hours of 3 and 4 am I watched over 15 shooting stars fly across the night sky. In the pre-dawn moments, I realized that I am a tiny tiny piece in a great big universe. My life is so small and seemingly insignificant compared to the cosmos. I find a sense of peace in knowing that - that even though I am a speck in the grand scheme of things, I am still loved and cared for. It reminds me of a song/poem by Bradley Hathaway:
Look up, look up, look up into the sky, love
You see that moon shining so high up above us?
It rolls around on account of a bunch of scientific stuff
I like to think it does just because He loves us.
(I did not take the above photo. I just wanted to share its beauty.)
Basically what I'm trying to say is this: Each day is a blessing because I am alive and breathing and surrounded by people who love me, most of the time unconditionally. Even though my life is small in comparison, I play a significant role in the lives of others around me. It feels good to know that I am connected to something that is so much bigger than anything I could imagine. Even if it doesn't all make sense right now...
