My Quest for Wisdom

I am the kind of person who reads the last page or chapter of a novel before she is finished with the book. Brad hates this about me. He says that my impatience is unhealthy. And yet it remains - against my will but somehow still an entity I am unable to get away from. I get frustrated when I don’t know how things are going to turn out, or even where they are headed. So I search for answers. I search for hope that somewhere down the road the characters are happy, the conflict is resolved. I search for wisdom to make sense of the messes we make of our lives.  

I have spent a lot of time thinking since my last post, and processing things on a front porch with great friends. I have come to the conclusion that wisdom comes in the most unlikely places. I came home on Sunday evening to find a letter waiting for me (along with a few envelopes from Sallie Mae but that’s a different story!). Inside was the wisdom I had been so desperately searching for. Below are the words of a wild, wacky, and wonderful woman - my grandma, my Mimi, and in this case, my wisdom. After reading my last blog, she expressed these words:   

“God only opens doors when you persistently and prayerfully knock real loud. God’s will is that you search for what your yearnings are, what your talents are, which road to take (then another and another and another road, so find sturdy shoes and a sturdy companion - and you have one).

His will must be found by you on earth, no matter how painful the quest. The angels will sing sweetly if and when you persist, and He will rejoice that you pleased Him and, in return, His child well pleased with herself. 

The lazy spirit must be challenged daily, hourly, if not physically then mentally, ruthlessly, with time set aside for meditation and prayer - which life is -a prayer unto itself.

I think God is irritated to have you being so harsh on yourself. In life we always need periods, self chosen, of readjusting to radical, sometimes dramatic life changes. High on the readjustment chart is leaving home, marriage, new job, financial re-adjustments, leaving old friends, finding new friends, gaining weight. Finding the joy that suits you - the list goes on and on, so give life time to settle and be good to Katie.” 

And now I search for the joy that suits me.