Reason and Passion

I spent a good portion of my morning/afternoon looking at pictures of South Africa and reminiscing on my days spent there. So much laughter. So many tears. So many precious memories of singing songs and playing with the kids from Linawo Children’s Home. And I couldn’t help but think of how much things have changed since then - both in my life and in the lives of those I served and served with. I am not in the same place I was when I returned from that trip - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.  

My first instinct is to want to return. If it were up to me, I would be on a plane right now, with Brad by my side. Yet I am grounded and on my way to nowhere. Instead, I am on a couch, in a room, in a house, in a town that feels like it has been my home for too long. I am ready to move on. I often ask myself (and Brad) what we are waiting for. We have both had dreams of living overseas, doing mission work and I get frustrated that it isn’t happening. But then I am reminded of the whole “being sent” thing.

It doesn’t make sense for us to leave. Brad has a job that he loves (most days). I am teaching and gaining experience and learning new things every day. We have a house. We are able to pay our bills. We are close to family and not too far from friends. So why is there this nagging feeling in my gut that keeps me from being content? And then I worry, will it ever make sense for us to leave? I want to share with you a passage I read this week that shed some light on this dilemma. It’s from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet on Reason and Passion. 

“Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against your passion and your appetite...Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul. If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas. For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction. Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion, that it may sing; and let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.”

I guess you could say I am at war right now within myself. My passion is leading me to take charge of my life and make a change, but my reason (the little that I do possess!) is keeping me in place. It is necessary to have both and one cannot outweigh the other. I think that is where my problem lies. I am such a passionate person that I do not always stop to make sure I am within reason. Lucky for me, Brad is a very reasonable person. We are able to balance each other out in that way. However, it is often an area of miscommunication. My passion gets in the way of understanding his reason. And his reason gets in the way of understanding my passion. And so we go round and round until we are worn out. We are fighting the same battles and we are on the same side, but this difference between reason and passion feels miles apart sometimes. And yet there is hope. There is a beautiful place where they meet in the middle and everything makes sense. 

“Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows--then let your heart say in silence, ‘God rests in reason.’ And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky,--then let your heart say in awe, ‘God moves in passion.’ And since you are a breath in God’s sphere, and a leaf in God’s forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion.”

Rest in reason, move in passion. Rest in reason, move in passion. Rest in reason, move in passion. Easier said than done.